Parents and Families' Role in Prevention

Every child needs a safe space to learn and interact with their peers in a healthy and supportive way. In 2002, Washington State adopted a law, RCW 28A.300.285, prohibiting harassment, intimidation and bullying in every school. In 2007, it was amended to include electronic forms of harassment, intimidation and bullying. As of August 1, 2011, all Washington school districts must adopt a model policy and procedure standard developed by the Office of the Education Ombuds, the Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction and the Washington School Directors Association. Click here to view the model policy. Click here to read the model procedure. Bullying is not something schools and families should take lightly. Bullying is a repeated negative behavior that takes advantage of a less-powerful person, and sometimes even makes the child who is bullied feel at fault. Hitting, name calling, shunning and shaming are all forms of bullying. So are spreading rumors, gossiping and making threats online.

Parent/Guardian's Role to Stop Bullying

Here are some actions you can take at school and at home to help keep your child safe.

At School:

Learn about school and district policies and procedures
Encourage school to provide trainings to staff, students and parents
Do not confront the bully or bully's family
Report the incident to the school principal, using your district's Incident Reporting Form or this model Incident Reporting Form: Sample HIB Incident Reporting Form
Investigations are required if bullying is unresolved, severe or persistent - see model procedure
If continued safety is an issue, request an immediate safety plan while the investigation proceeds
If dissatisfied with the safety plan, meet again with the school principal
If unhappy with the conclusions of the investigation, appeal to the school district Compliance Officer. This can be further appealed to the Superintendent and then to the School Board
Ensure appropriate supervision of your youth at school

Note: Due to federal student privacy regulations (FERPA), the school will not be able to share details regarding any disciplinary action taken against the other student, but generally can and will share information related to a safety plan, for example, if the other student will either not be present, or will be instructed to keep a distance from your child.

At home:

Model compassion and respect.
Do not blame your student for bringing it on.
Remember that the home is the safe refuge.
Spend extra time with your student and give extra support.
Teach safety strategies to your student, both for the target and the bystander.
Remind the student that hitting back or getting even may result in new troubles, such as suspensions.
Encourage the student to tell the aggressor this is bullying and not appropriate.
Encourage the student to walk away to a safer place.
Encourage the student to tell an adult who will listen.
Ask: What is being done? Who is doing it? What has been done to try to resolve the problem? What do they need from the adult to stop the bullying?
Identify safe places - classroom, by adults, rejoin a group of peers.
Nurture and educate.
Talk about what bullying is and why there are bullies. The event was not about them, but more about the bully.
Instill self-confidence.
Identify and encourage the youth's talents and attributes.
Emphasize that the school staff cares about safety and has a process to assist.
Let the youth be part of the process in resolving the problem.
Ask the school counselor about the availability of services to address social skills, if needed.

Could your child be bullying another student?

If you find out your child is bullying another student, many of the items previously listed are still relevant.
Be proactive and work with the school counselor who can offer additional support by working with your youth individually or in small group to address the inappropriateness of bullying and alternatives to bullying.